love strunggle

That afternoon, when it was raining heavily and the weather was very cold, I was sitting on the terrace of the house watching the rain, suddenly I heard the sound of people talking, but where did the sound come from, I tried to find the source of the sound.

why don't we just leave our children with mothers, no my children will stay with me no matter what happens the children are our responsibility. I feel guilty if I have to burden my parents with children, which should be part of our responsibility. It's fine if that's what you want, my husband, and you've allowed me to pursue my career, because of my parents, actually I'm not allowed to work for my husband, and my husband hopes that I become a wife who stays at home looking after my children, because my husband believes I'm capable of doing it. both, and we do all of that to make our parents happy because of our parents' dreams. and I walked, and every Sunday afternoon my husband and I found it hard because on Sunday I had to go back to work, and leave my husband and children, my little one always whined and cried when the time for me to go back to work had arrived... it was really heartbreaking. Which mother is not sad and broken seeing her child crying every week who has to stay for 5 days, and only gathers for 2 days and it's like that, but my husband always gives me encouragement, remember we do all this for the sake of our loved ones. My sister had to go back to the cottage, and she was only at home one night, our struggle was truly extraordinary, but my husband always reminded us that we have to go through this so that we can all enter Allah SWT's heaven. Amen.

I saw how they lived side by side and were enthusiastic together, it was truly extraordinary for them to be able to live together with enthusiasm.

BROTHER LOVE

I'm tired..how long do I have to be like this, I'm very tired, I survive among people with different characters, who are very different from the environment around me, often we adapt, but this is very difficult, well because of religious differences , in my new place I have many friends of different religions, most of my friends in this new place are non-Muslim, there are some friends who can respect this difference, but there are also those who are not used to my behavior. But don't think anything wrong if our friends are all united and share each other. So this is where the misunderstanding starts.

One day at my workplace I often brought supplies and food to eat together, I often overdid my food, because it was supposed to be eaten together and together, several times and often like that, but other times they (non-Muslims) )who brought food, and I'm sorry I didn't join them because I couldn't eat their food, because in my religion, it teaches not to eat carelessly, it doesn't mean we don't eat, but if you have ever cooked, I'm sorry pork is in the cooking place you or your pot, we can't eat it. Because that is the rule that our religion teaches, and at that time, I was confused about how to explain it, because they were new friends and there were still many who didn't know about the rules of our religion, and at At that time they kept offering me, I just said I was still full, but they kept pushing and forcing me, and I slowly got away from them a little while the meal was going on, OK, that's over, and there's more at another time. It was different when a friend offered me deer meat, I was shocked, and still doubtful, I wanted to refuse not to buy, but how do I do it, so in the end I reasoned that I told my friend to buy it and later I would cook it, and while I found out where the deer meat came from got it, and my friend said that the deer meat was obtained from her husband's hunting, ok I already knew the answer and in the end I didn't buy it, lucky me, but my friend apparently didn't forget that he had bought it and told me to cook it, I could do it too I'll just cook it but will the problem stop here, OK, in the afternoon before I got home from work, he called me to bring the deer meat, and I took it home and I made it to cook for the leader, I made the meat for the leader, with a word of praise I cooked it, after it was ready I Actually, I'm still thinking about what tomorrow will be like, because tomorrow we will eat together, how to make sure they don't get offended tomorrow.

The next day I left with the head and other food so that I could still eat together without having to eat the head of the deer I had hunted, but after I got there when it was time to eat I was surprised by the provisions of other friends, yes they brought pork, and that was it. it shocked me, I was even more confused, indeed they were not the same as my friends in the old place, they already knew the rules in our religion, so they really respected our rules, in this new place it wasn't that they didn't respect them but they weren't used to being with us. and I didn't know our rules, I felt at that time I was very confused, I remained sitting in my room, I hadn't moved to the place to eat together, because they brought the pork. there are friends who tell me why you brought this pork here, we want to eat together, but with what they know, it's okay if he doesn't eat, but cook you breast milk, show him while another friend reminds him, I only heard from room next door, because the room is next to each other so I heard it, I was even more confused because I didn't want them to be offended and hurt, because in my religion there is a way to respect each other so that we are not offended and we are also safe from food that is prohibited by religion. we.

Finally it was time to eat, they called me, and I just wanted to go home because actually my stomach wasn't feeling well at that time, and I was allowed to go home for a while, but I thought I would come late because I hoped that when I came back they would have finished eating, but it turned out they were still waiting for me, I was confused and there was a little debate. But in the end I went back and ate together but in a different place and I took my fried noodle dish, because apart from bringing the pentolan which I made capcay, I also made fried noodles which I really wanted. eat at a place where I can eat together later.

So for my friends, they still don't understand, I'm sorry, apart from pork which is very clear, we Muslim people don't eat it, there is also meat that you can't eat, especially if you don't buy it and don't say a prayer. and the prayer was emotional

I NEED YOU

staring at you so small, feels warm your soft touch, emanating from your eyes so deep. A thousand ... is someone who loves his child so much, but not for me, I was born with a lack, I was disabled, I could not walk and talk normal like the other children, my mother said, before I was born with abnormalities there were many shortcomings, many natural ailments, so my mother had to go out of town often and often spent money just for treatment, I was helpless, I could do nothing what, I'm like a paralyzed person, I wither, when I was a baby, my mother at that time felt ashamed and insecure, because of my shortcomings, said my mother, my father didn't mind me, I just made my father and mother embarrassed because of my lack, 2 years old when the mother never hugged me, like a child, who got a little hug and warm kiss from a mother, let alone my present, often said harshly to me, and after that my father often scolded me uku, because of me, I, who is still a child, can't do anything, my mother just lets me do that, I'm just fed and drunk, treated, without feeling a warm hug from my mother, every time my mother meets her friends, my mother feel mulu, and especially those who try to understand my mother's situation, but there are also those who are not as good and unfaithful to mother, some who do drop my mother.

I was born there was no one who wanted me, let alone my wife, I was born of 3 brothers, and I was the third child, a child who was expected to come out as a woman, but what they wanted was not achieved, and I came out in the world with men and many because I want girls, so boys are not wanted in their lives, but I am sure that they will love me once and I will prove to my father that boys can only make them difficult and ashamed this will make they are proud, yes someday I will certainly prove it, god ... help me, help me how to make my father and mother proud and love me.

1 year 3 times I have to be taken treatment out of town, and they spend a lot of money every year, and fortunately, my parents belong to the category of wealthy families, so that going back and forth out of town is not a problem for them, because they really want seeing me become a child who grows up healthy and normal, sometimes it's not time for me to control health 3 times, in that one year, I've experienced my health problems, so the medicine again and again. That makes my mother even more upset with me, especially my father

mother ... forgive me, I don't want to be born like this but I can't fight the destiny of the Almighty, the omnipotent creator and the gracious giver. God, whether I am like this, not God, have mercy on my parents. who tried to cure me, I did not want to see them sad and hold shy because of me, even though I knew all this was the best of you god.

I am getting weaker, I am increasingly wilting, I have not been able to prove to them that I can become their pride later.

5 months passed ..

my mother met a friend, this friend was a friend who was not so good, but my mother's friend was a person who was so caring and enthusiastic to see my weaknesses, so that my mother was not aware of her complaints to her friend, and my mother's friend gave me motivation and enthusiasm for my mother to be receptive to accepting my abnormal situation. indeed sometimes we feel that we are not in line, we feel bad, and feel that God is not fair to us ... why does God give trial to us, because actually good in our eyes is not necessarily good in the eyes of God, but bad in our eyes even though it good for god. my best friend ... I'm sure why God gave this to you all, the burden of life is hard for you, but in fact God will not give trial beyond our limits, short story with my mother's friend.

I also felt comfortable close to my mother's friend, who was so warm I was carrying her, I kissed and loved, I could only shed tears of joy and emotion, because I wished the mother who kissed me, when I got home usually my mother put me in place I slept, and my mother began to work, but at that time after meeting with her friend, my mother was close to me, and gave me time, and I kissed her, I warmed with her hug, and my mother's tears dripped down my cheeks and while whispering, '' my dear baby forgive my mother, forgive the mother who cannot accept this fact, forgive the mother who always wasted you, forgive the mother who never gave you warmth, I'm sure you don't want to be born like this, all this the will of the Almighty, forgive my mother, mother will always keep you mother will always protect you,